Healing

 

Here I was, having the opportunity to teach yoga in paradise, and then on my first morning I woke up with shivers and feeling odd.. Taught my class with that mindset you probably know if you are a teacher of some sort -nothing else matters, you can be focused and channel your energies to your students and when the class finishes, you just flop. I had a trip to a pharmacy ( luckily there is one nearby) and bought some paracetamol, went straight to bed and hoped it will get better. Well, the fever lasted a few days, I did my best to teach and make sure everything is fine, I had really great classes, with some experienced yogis and some beginners as well. But the weakness didn’t want to go away so I pulled myself together and went to the hospital( the public one) to get a blood test done( in case I have dengue fever which I suspected but you know, magical thinking, if you don’t think about it, it doesn’t exsist..)
The first hospital ( actually the second during my stay) experience was quiet intense, the very kind nurses and doctors to the guy who pushed me over in a wheelchair to the ward( they insisted, even though I was perfectly able to walk, there was a stamp on my documents stating wheelchair) being shocked that I am not married even though I am 35. They wanted to admit me straight away, so I tried to explain that I only came for a blood test. Finally they agreed that I can just sit and wait instead of taking bed nr 18( which was practically half a bed, every bed had two people allocated to them) .

IMG_0255 There was a point when I had a little boy on my right knee and an IV bag in my left hand, as the person accompanying my left hand neighbour had to go somewhere so she asked me to hold the IV drip for her. Made new friends:) everybody smiling and feeling that bond when you are in a similar(shitty) situation.
Finally someone took a blood sample( first one of many..) and after about 45 minutes I got the results.. and there it was, dengue fever. Even though I was feeling okay, my platelet count was low( boy, I learned too much about these little guys in the past few days:) so they still wanted to keep me there. I decided to leave to hospital against medical advice, because there were soo many people looking significantly more unwell than me waiting and they didn’t even get a bed, I couldn’t be that person.. so I signed some papers and promised to repeat the blood test the day after, rest and drink plenty of fluids. Both young doctors were extremely kind and patient.
So there I was, far away from friends and family, being slightly scared but still optimistic about everything and feeling very very grateful that the people around me only surrounded me with kindness and care and looked after me even though they only knew me for a couple of days.

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KK the hostel’s cat kept me company:)

Next day I decided to go to a private hospital so I won’t take up time and energy from other people who need to be treated more than me.. my numbers were even lower and the doctor warned me to take this very seriously.. so I bought spinach and beetroot ( I did my research about increasing platelet count:) and decided to stop being a hero and just let my body heal.
The human body is amazing, just thinking about billions of cells working together as an organisation to keep you alive and healthy is fascinating. And in times like this you have to just provide your body what it needs to work those healing processes. We forget about this way too often, we never take a break, never give us time, we go back to work way too early after an illness.. but in general, the body feels what it needs to heal( like when you craving certain food ) , so it is wise to just honour it ( if you can)..
Healing can be a long process( and I’m not only talking about physical one), sometimes you just need to give yourself time and be kind to yourself.


I became very frustrated initially, I am in this beautiful country, near this beautiful beach and I am spending my days in bed, doing nothing. Then I just surrendered. I will get better, and I still have time to explore everything. Baby steps..

IMG_0257I had my last visit to the “bleeding room” ( one of the funniest signs so far) and I was so pleased to learn that my blood counts are within the healthy range, I have more energy and I can slowly go back to normal( still being careful though) starting with teaching a class this evening..

 

I will be back with more stories ☺️🙏🏼

Transit

So I’m at Mumbai airport waiting for my connection to Colombo. Here I am again, Mother India, you welcomed me with the really high humidity of the monsoon, almost felt like a warm and sweaty hug. Although I’m not even permitted to cross your borders and will take off in a few hours, you still have an effect on me. This is where it all started, my journey of becoming a yoga teacher , the smell of the street food( even the airport one), taste of the chai brings back so many memories, many faces now all spread around the world, sharing light. Hope you all doing what you planned to do..
I remember my first official class.. prior to that I had some brave friends in Hungary and London kindly helping me practice on them and of course the unforgettable volunteer experience with Crisis at Christmas 😊..
But my first official class in the Community Centre, small room in a cozy victorian building with green lino floor and lots of character. I feel like I came a long way.. from that slight nervousness, a lot of notes( I guess we all start like that..) . It is almost like climbing on a ladder , discovering new and new floors in a building, a different point of view every time. I’m very curious how will this change with experience, I’m still very green as a yoga teacher, so much more to learn.
I feel honoured that I got to teach a few people’s first ever yoga class. It’s always exciting, but it also feels like it comes with responsibility( especially with all the assumptions and expectations of yoga today). Well, most of them returned, some of them became regulars😊🙏🏼
I am grateful for all the ups( simply people’s faces after class, the feedback and reviews received ) and downs( those couple of occasions when no one showed and I questioned myself) of these 6 months, I learned so much about yoga, so much about myself , every class adds a thin layer to my yoga teacher identity, brings on new ideas, new perspectives. I like my little yoga crew, a great bunch if people, our end of the season class in the park was truly special..They did so well, kept focus even in a not so ideal situation.
I am grateful for all the support I received from friends, from sharing Facebook posts to taking photos or just simply being there, I couldn’t have done without them, without you.
And I am grateful to you, reading this post , listening to my thoughts.
In a few hours I will arrive to Sri Lanka, where a new chapter begins, yoga teaching almost every day for a month, new layers, new people, new connections. I can’t wait!
Will keep you guys posted😉
Namaste😊🙏🏼